She's in control
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I was... and still am basically ugly and geeky. After years of rejection by girls when I tried normal dating... I learned about BDSM while browsing porn...it turned me on and I kept looking at it... my mind started to shift, and instead of continuing my delusions of grandeur of ever fucking these girl... I guess I looks for other ways to please them...even if it meant them kicking the shit out of me or treating me badly